How I Help My Clients Find Their Dream Woman

When it comes to choosing a life partner, most people focus on chemistry, attraction, or shared interests. But if you want a relationship that lasts—one that feels like home and brings out the best in both of you—you have to start somewhere deeper.

This is why I guide my clients through a foundational process that begins with vision, values, non-negotiables and vetting.

Step 1: Craft the Vision

Before dating seriously, I ask my clients to sit down and envision their future life with their ideal partner. Not just the highlights—travel, holidays, exciting sex—but the daily rhythm of life.

• What does a typical Tuesday morning look like with your person?

• What are your rituals, your roles, your ways of connecting?

• How do you make decisions together? Rest? Play? Grow?

This vision becomes a compass. Without it, you’re just hoping someone fits. With it, you’re intentionally choosing someone who fits with you.

Step 2: Define Your Core Values

Next, we explore values. These are the principles that drive how you show up in life and love. Things like:

• Integrity

• Emotional growth

• Spirituality

• Playfulness

• Health

• Ambition

When you know your values, you can start to recognize compatibility on a soul level. It's not just “Do we get along?”—it becomes “Can we build a life that feels aligned and expansive?”

Step 3: Know Your Non-Negotiables

This is where things get real.

Non-negotiables aren’t just preferences like “I’d like someone who exercises” or “doesn’t smoke.” They are deeper truths that come from your own past pain and unmet needs.

I often ask:

What did you experience in a past relationship that you never want to experience again?

Maybe it was:

• Emotional avoidance

• Lack of communication

• A partner who shut down during conflict

• Someone who couldn't speak your love language

• Constant power struggles or disrespect

If it hurt before, it will likely hurt again. Putting these non-negotiables on paper gives you clarity and protection. It helps you stay rooted in your worth while dating.

Step 4: The Vetting Process

Once the vision is clear, the values are identified, and the non-negotiables are set, we use this information to vet healthy women. Not in a judgmental way—but in a way that honors what you’re actually looking for. Think of this as an interview process. If you owned a big company and you had an important position to fill, would you just pick the first person who came knocking? No. You would put them through a rigorous interview process to make sure they are the right candidate for the position and then put them on a probationary period to see if they follow through on what they shared in their interviews. Yet, in dating we feel a physical attraction to someone, have some things in common and it's like OK LET'S MAKE THIS WORK. You are interviewing for the make-or-break your mental health position in your life. We don't call it "significant" other any reason. Now we take the information we have from our vision, values and non-negotiables and we use it to ask the right questions. We use these questions as a filter and we filter people out who don't align.

This includes:

• Is this person capable of having a healthy relationship?

• Are they willing and able to meet your needs?

• Do they demonstrate emotional maturity and self-awareness?

• Can you do the same for them?

A great match isn’t just someone who makes you feel butterflies—it’s someone who shares your vision, mirrors your values, respects your non-negotiables, and shows up to co-create a relationship that works. Anyone who doesn't meet this criteria is let go. I always jokingly tell my clients, "we are trying to get rid of people!" We want to make space for the right person.

Final Thoughts:

Dating with intention doesn’t kill the spark—it creates real chemistry that can last a lifetime. When you know what you’re building and who you’re building it with, love becomes not just something you fall into—but something you choose, nurture, and thrive in.

Interested in working with me? Find out more here.